My King's Doom
by peamaps
Summary: SLASH - An old King helps a human to not commit an ancient and painful mistake he saw the one he loved fall victim to


Title: My King's Doom  
Pairing: Legolas/Aragorn  
Author: Peamaps - February 2013  
Warnings: Slash, Carachter Death, English is not my native tongue, un-beta'd, OFCs (male and female)  
Summary: An old King helps a human to not commit an ancient and painful mistake he saw the one he loved fall victim to.

Pulling his horse behind him, Ithildin* looked to their secret cabin. She didn't seem to be inside yet and he felt a little nervous. Would she come? After all he made her go through, even though her love for him was real, he doubted.

Ellah was all a man could ask for, what he, could have wished. Her love for him unbreakable in the face of adversity, the humiliation she stood for so long from the way his mother put her through...and even so his love would meet him time and again. Until Ithildin himself pushed her away. Claiming he was of noble blood and she just a farmer's daughter he finally acted upon the decision of ending her suffering. To marry him would bring her great sadness, it was not fairy tale that both his mother and father promised to make his beloved go through, they vowed revenge would he ever make such a 'low life' the woman of his life. And Ithildin had duties he could not run from, and they would be living with his parents until the end and there was not running away from it: he was a Prince.

What seemed to be the flickering of candle light called for his attention. Still able to talk to animals he didn't have to tie his horse anywhere, he just told him to stay nearby. Ithildin rushed inside and finding Ellah there made he let out the breath of relief he didn't realize he was holding.  
'Ellah, my lady.' He droped on his knee, holding her hand while bowing.  
'According to your own words, I am no lady.' She said dryly. 'But continue, and fast for I have not the time to loose with you anymore.' She was a very sincere woman and he could see through her shield and how much hurt there was in her eyes. 'We went through too much for me to just ignore your calling. I came here out of curiosity. I haven't heard from your in months and it came to my knowledge, as to everyone else that walk upon this land that you are to be married to a very noble woman.' Now her anger was tangible. 'I wonder what she will think of our little encounter here.' She spat.

Ithildin bowed as she lashed her words and did not dare to look up. From where he stood he was humbled by her glory and after all he learned, he felt again stupid for the decision he had made.

'She won't have to wonder for we are no longer together my lady, my beloved Ellah. Long have I not slept or have been able to take your image from my mind for I dream of you when I am awake. I can only say that I made a big mistake but that I never touched nor desire her or any other but you. And I can promise I never will.'

He felt her delicate and slim hand tremble and slowly, oh so slowly dared to look up. When she saw the tears on his gray eyes - a feature that ran in the family - hers also filled with water and for a moment Ithildin thought she would hold him, but she stood her ground.

'I care not anymore for the rules my parents forced upon me, for if I don't have you I want no other. With that said I come here to ask if you will marry me.'

Ellah's jaw dropped, she clearly didn't expect this. Hopeful he raised slowly but didn't dare to hold her even though all he wanted was to do just that and some more: to tear her dress and feel her warm and curvy flesh under his palm, to kiss her whole being while listening to the familiar sounds she made.

'You broke my heart!' She cried suddenly. It was like a blow on his face. He felt dizzy and didn't think rejection would feel that way: it was a thousand times worse.  
'Forgive me...'  
'How can I? I gave you my everything Ithindin! My father was devastaded to know it was all over. Since I told him he was terrified I would get hurt in this. He always said women like me, poor and a damn nobody were always a plaything for princess until they reach their maturity, since the begining of times but I refused to believe, and then you go... and choose a noble woman to marry.'

He saw her first tear drop and couldn't resist but to hold her.

'I would gladly be alone in my lifetime to pay for the heartbreak I caused you and your father. But if you accept me back I would even live in the crops with you, to raise children with you or to move to wherever you wish. I would spend the rest of my days making up for the worst thing I ever did in my life.'

'You are too young Ithildin, there are so many more mistakes to come.' She laughed bitterly.  
'None will be worse than this, for the day I pretend I wanted you far away, I died.'

She was now staring at his eyes looking for something and he knew she searched for a hint of lie. She found none for he was sure she could see his despair. Ithildin wondered if she said no if he still could die of grief for he certainly wished he could, like his ancestors before him.

When she held him all the world that seemed black and white since she was gonne burst into light and color, even in the darkness of the night that was lit up only by a single candle. His body burned suddenly and he covered her mouth, his hands soon travelled her body, then the red long hair and ending by tearing her dress. He took her to the bed and undressed himself quickly. Ithildin lay upon her and loved that woman like he never did before, because for the first time, he was free. It was elven magic.

Hours later and still sleepless, they lay entangled and satisfied, not to mention exhausted. He was smiling at her while playing with a strand of her hair, while she did the same with his long, dark locks. Ithildin kissed Ellah again and vowed to only let go now when his soul left his body.  
'I am sorry for being weak.' He said close to tears. He never knew darkness as the one he met when she was gone. 'You are everything to me, I couldn't possibly run this country without you by my side. But Ellah, I did it because I couldn't take the humiliation you were going through... In the court... because my parents started and then allowed everyone else in the court to torture and ridicule you and...'

'Is that why you left me?' She asked as understanding finally set in.  
'Yes... I couldn't care less for our social position!' He pleaded, taking both her creammy hands in his. 'I love you, so much that it hurts.'  
She threw herself onto him, holding him tight. They laughed.  
'If you leave me again...I'll kill you.' She said.  
'Sure.' He laughed. 'But you won't have too, cause if that happened I'm dead already.'  
'I missed you so much.' She whispered.  
Fire rose within him yet again, colder than before but almost irresistible. He controlled himself quickly and putted some distance between them. 'Wait my sweetest, just for a moment.'  
'What's wrong?'  
'I can't take credit for my change of mind... I need to tell you about how I went back on my decision. You amazed me, yet again.' He kissed her with passion. 'You forgave me when I thought you wouldn't, and when you shouldn't. It's already eating me that I am not the one who gave you the reason to smile.'  
'What do you mean?'  
The Prince took a deep breath before he begun. 'I heard a story meant to show me that when we love someone we must do all in our power to be with that person. That life is too short for lies and duties.' He paused for a long while, looking through the window and to the world outside, lost in thoughts, before continuing. 'I thought they all went away... the Elves. I was stunned to see one entering the dinning hall's doors. He was tall like a tree and ethereally beautiful. Whatever you heard about them, forget it, they are more than any tale could ever describe, even the books with real accounts of their time on Arda.  
He walked directly to me, his blue eyes taking his surroudings but not bothered with all the attention. All was silence for everyone was awestruck by the being of light. He then just sat right in front of me, across the table, and I could finally notice how sad he was.  
His voice was soft and I thought if he could talk like that what would be to hear him sing. The tales talk about what great singers the elves were. As soon as he started to talk I couldn't pay attention to anything else even if I wanted to. Even his bright golden hair could be distracting but his voice seemed to have some kind of enchantment for I was paralyzed.  
He was King on his own lands, a place we have no knowledge of and will not find even if we look for. But before that and long ago he was a young and happy elf, anxious for adventures and that's when he met the love of his life. The other one was also a male and for that he already knew they would never be together so he lied to himself for as long as he could that he cared deeply for the other as a friend. When we look for we find what we desire and so he faced his first and the greatest adventure of his life: he was one of the Nine Walkers.'  
'I can't believe it: Legolas!'  
'You know the story well, the only Elf to walk with the other mortals to Mount Doom and...'  
'Oh Gods! Who was he in love to?' She cried in excitement.  
'How could I begin a story like that? To my great, great grand father, King Elessar.'  
Ellah's jaw dropped the same way Ithildin's did few moons ago when he first heard the story.  
'So King Legolas came to tell me how he later found out that King Elessar - which he constantly called as Aragorn - felt the same way for him. Both were trying to deny as much as they could and all was well until the quest. In the journey seeing each other everyday made them end up becoming lovers, they just couldn't resist although they fought against it until they could no more. It seems King Elessar realized he no longer loved my great, great grand mother when he lay his eyes on Legolas and they both thought she accept Aragorn's request and sailed to Valinor - the place to where all Elves went after leaving this world to us. Maybe inside he knew he no longer loved her. But she didn't.'  
Ellah sighed sadly for it was known the Great Queen gave her mortality for love and to know she wasn't loved back when she made such a sacrifice...  
'I almost wept because even if I didn't know her, I love the Queen Arwen. But you see, they were doomed, all of them. Legolas promised Aragorn to stay until King Elessar's last day and Aragorn asked of him to come to Ithilien. That turned out to be a burden for not only their love was great but the attraction as overwhelming and they still had a few encounters. Tthey were all accidents but they couldn't forgive themselves - you see, to risk their lives for the good of others as to travel to Mordor and face Sauron himself shows what kind of people they were - and their secret ate at them, and Aragorn tried to make up for his weakness to his Queen but she ended up resenting him, knowing something was amiss but never putting a finger on it. She was unhappy, and her husband knew that. Legolas also punished himself by being as lonely as he could. He always felt for the Queen of Gondor and tried to avoid the King, but as I said the encounters were accidental. He even left with his friend, another famous one, the Dwarf Gimli to far away lands as to escape, but having duties to Gondor made he always come back to Ithilien. Being it's governor Aragorn also had to go there from time to time, or Legolas to Minas Tirith.  
Their lives were a torment. Legolas said he could only imagine what his beloved went through but for him life was an eternal struggling of hiding from the King of Gondor, then not being able to control himself and succumbing to his lover's embrance to later on feel remorseful, as much as missing the only one he ever loved so intensely he thought he could fade. When finally the mortal one fade he could feel only pain and a horrifying relief for not to fall in temptation again. Arwen soon followed and because of that he couldn't feel more guilty. He just stood behind, having constructed a ship for his friend Dwarf himself he ended up deciding not to go, not knowing what to do but just lingering with the only memories he could have of his love. The guilt became easier to carry and sometimes he would look upon Minas Tirith from afar. He left Ithilien to never be seen again and took the remaining elves with him but one by one they all went away across the sea, and it seems now he lives alone in there, probably in some woods.' At this point Ithildin couldn't find his voice anymore, grief striking his heart as he already loved the Elf for basically saving his life from the same mistake...the same grief. After long moments, at the sound of both of them weeping, he regained his strenght.  
'You see, it has been not years, not some seasons but centuries since he decided to linger. I don't care I'll live half that time. Elvish blood still runs in my veins, he made me realize I can't live like that. He said that if he could go back in time, maybe it would have been better to tell Arwen. They still would not be together for Aragorn needed to be King and restore the throne so long forgotten but they could be together as lovers, without hurting anyone and when the time came Aragorn had plenny of heirs to choose from. The Prince Faramir was one of them and his oldest son was a wise man, but instead they rushed in the only decision they knew because both Aragorn and Legolas did not want to hurt Arwen when in truth it's all they did.'  
'That's horrible Ithil...' Ellah held him onto her chest. 'I never more a tragic tale. I can't blame either of them. When we hear about The Fellowship of the Ring we always had the idea of great and noble heroes, selfless beings that got together no matter the differences between them deserved a happy ending but met such a sad struggle is hard to understand. And to know that one of them is still alive, but unhappy...'  
'Yes my love. You see, it wasn't me who tried to bring you a happy ending, but King Legolas.'  
'You don't know where he is? Can't we go there from time to time and make him some company? Maybe and hopefully make him remember that if the tales are true, that Valinor can cure his heart?'  
'I... I think he lingers for hope...'  
'Hope? Hope of what? All he knew is dead now. They were never together and never will be.'  
'Call me crazy El, but... I don't know...'  
'Tell me.'  
'I got this insane idea, or call it a feeling, but I think he expects Aragorn to reborn.'  
'Gods, that is so sad, it will never happen.'  
'Nevertheless, there are things that he told me in his smooth voice that made me realize he's been watching Aragorn's descendants all this time... He takes care of us, like some nights ago when he came to give me conci. He seemed to find comfort in doing so. I don't know why, but I think he's finding redemption this way.' He held her tight. 'That's the story I had to tell you my love, my King's doom. And we never knew.' And then he remembered. 'You know what's funny? I had a dream with a man I couldn't indentify, but now remembering the paitings I am sure it was King Elessar.'

In the woods of ancient Mirkwood a hooded form seemed to float while walking to a stone that stood in the middle of nothing. The being walked slowly like in a ceremony. Kneeling down a pale hand appeared to touch what was a grave. Weeping a smooth voice said.

'Forgive me... my love... Forgive me for stealing your body to bring you here, close to me as I never had you in life and forgive me for your descendants only honor a shallow grave... without knowing it... but more than that, forgive me for leaving you here alone now. I think... No... I have to go home now... Do you remember how I felt the call of the sea? It's driving me mad... I will take you to lay beside Arwen. I buried her in Lothlórien as she didn't know I followed her... Remember how we didn't want her to die all alone and you made me promise to be by her side when the time came? I will take you both to the ancient Rivendell, for I think it is the place where you were both happy once, maybe because I didn't enter your life yet to become your doom...

Is that okay?

Is it Aragorn?'

Only silence answered the lone figure. And then the weeping sound filled the forest once more, a common sound in those parts, for centuries past.

Close by a leaf fell silently.

~The End ~

*  
*Moon-silver: Ithildin

~~~Please review!~~~


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